Sometimes we can have the expectation that our healing “should” be linear.

We have asked for help and we have committed to doing the inner work, so all should be smooth sailing from now on.

Right?

Not exactly…

In order to heal, we need to be able to feel ALL the emotions.

Healing is not bypassing the tough parts.

Healing is rolling up your sleeves and moving towards the uncomfortable.

It is wiping the dark fog away from your eyes and learning to see in a different way.

It is learning to sit in moments of sadness, anxiety and overwhelm.

It is learning to turn down the volume of your criticism while holding hands with self-compassion.

It is giving yourself permission to feel joy and happiness.

It is smashing the glass ceiling that you have subconsciously placed above your head.

It is exploring the self-sabotages and repeated patterns with curiosity and wonder.

It is looking at your past traumas and understanding the way they impact your life.

It is calling back the lost parts of yourself and reclaiming who you are.

Healing changes you at a deep level – cognitively, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Sometimes the healing will be smooth and will flow with ease.

Other days it will be excruciating and hard to face.

On the hard days, I want you to know that you can do this, and it will be worth it.

It won’t be smooth sailing or linear, but our human experience isn’t either.

We all have good days. Messy days. Painful days.

When we give ourselves permission to feel our pain and ride out the waves of emotion, we allow our pain and trauma to be transformed into love.

When we open our arms and hearts to healing, we open our minds to a life more fulfilling that we could ever have imagined.  

Your healing is possible.

Embrace the highs and lows and the messiness in between.

It is time to stop putting your life on hold and embrace the magic and opportunities that are there waiting for you.  

Love

Alisha

One aspect of my work that I love is Men’s Mental Health. 

I love seeing the transformation that occurs in men when they start therapy. 

On the outside you would never know anything was wrong. He walks in with a mask on – covering his face and….his soul. He walks in with a hard, protective shell surrounding his entire being. How long it takes to crack the shell is different for everyone.

One man may walk in and burst into tears as soon as he has sat on the lounge. He has carried this pain around with him for so long – hiding it from every single person around him. He is exhausted. The mask is not holding up like it used to and so he breaks. Tears rolling down his face. “I can’t do this anymore”. “I have hit rock bottom”. 

For someone else, it may take longer. You have to shift through the defensiveness. You have to build rapport and trust. You have to let him know that this is a safe place. Together you start to explore negative beliefs patterns, detrimental behaviours, family history and societal expectations. Gently the cracking happens, and they let you in that little bit more. 

They are ready to start removing their mask. 

There are differences with men and women. Our bodies. Our brains. Our make-up. How we learn, communicate, lead and express our ourselves. In order to be in our natural flow, we all need both masculine and feminine energy. 

Part of the work that I do with men, is helping them to soften (although I don’t always use that word with the men!)

When you break through the hard, protective shell – you find a “softness”. 

This softening though challenges our perception of males. Boys are raised hearing –

Don’t be soft

Don’t be a girl

Boys don’t cry

Man up

Times are changing though. Our society is starting to shift this perception. More parents are aware now of the determinantal impact these phrases have long term. We have more men speaking out now about men’s mental health, suicide prevention and domestic violence. 

When a man learns to “soften” beautiful things start to happen. He can express himself more through both actions and words. He can label his emotions and learn to sit with them. He becomes an emotionally intelligent leader.  His relationships improve. A weight lifts off his shoulders as he realises, he doesn’t need to carry it all on his own. His priorities change. He becomes a more hands-on father. Conversations change from surface level to deeper, more meaningful connections. He becomes a positive role model and inspiration to others.  

Times are changing. 

How can you contribute to this change? It may be at the personal level or it may be at the collective level. 

We need men to step up and be the change. 

Let’s reduce these awful statistics of mental illness, suicide and domestic violence.  

Love

Alisha

I am waiting for the day when I feel enough.

Will that day ever come?

I am waiting for the day that I don’t feel like I am failing at all that I do.

Will that day ever come?

I am waiting for the day that I don’t have this black cloud over my head.

Will that day ever come?

I am waiting for the day that I don’t overthink every single thing.

Will that day ever come?

I am waiting for the day that I jump out of bed and feel grateful for the day ahead.

Will that day ever come?

I am waiting for the day that I don’t feel so exhausted and depleted.

Will that day ever come?

I am waiting for the day that I will enjoy this journey.

Will that day ever come?

I am waiting for the day that I stop beating myself up for feeling the way I do.

Will that day ever come?

I wait and I wait but nothing changes. Why does this happen to me? Why do I feel this way?

Why? Why? Why?

Then I hear the gentle whisper of my soul……

The day will come when you prioritise you. The day will come when you practice self-compassion. The day will come when you embrace your imperfections and your humanness. The day will come when you reach out for help because you acknowledge your own self-worth. The day will come when you sit with your emotions and process how you really feel.

The day will come when you learn new ways of being. The day will come when you choose acceptance over resistance.

The day will come when you hold appreciation for the small things. The day will come when you realise you are not alone.

The day will come when you practise self-care and show up every single day. The day will come when you acknowledge that you are trying your best and that is enough. You are enough. You always have been enough (yes even with the dark cloud) and you always will be.

Don’t sit back and wait for that day to come. You are worth so much more than that! Take control today and reach out for support.

Love

Alisha

It’s okay to admit that I can’t do it all
And that some days I feel I am sinking

It is okay to admit that I am exhausted and flat
And that I am stuck in my negative thinking

It is okay for me to talk about my hard days
The days I cry, scream and want to run away

It is okay to admit that I don’t love every motherhood phase
And that I miss my freedom and ease

It is okay to long for quiet time and time just for me
It is okay for me to ask for help and accept it along the way

It is okay for me to feel these emotions and allow them just to be
It is okay to feel love, joy, anger, guilt and every other emotion in between

It is okay for me to surrender control and let go of all the small things
It is okay for me to be kinder to myself and embrace my imperfections

It is okay for me to shift my perspective and notice all of my blessings
It is okay for me to get knocked down and to get up again

It is okay to go with the ebb and flow of life
Some days are good and some days are hard

It is okay to honour myself as friend, mother and wife
It is okay to live a life with self-love, compassion, lows and highs

It is okay for me to speak my truth and encourage others to do the same
When we step up and lead the way, we pave the path for all to rise.

Love

Alisha

She got caught up in the rushing.
The overwhelming responsibilities.
The crowded calendar.
The to-do-list.
The heaviness of life.
She felt trapped.
She had lost a part of herself.
She had lost the carefree child in her.
The one who used to run free.
The one who used to play.
Laugh.
Not take life so seriously.
She missed her.
She missed the space.
She missed the lightness.
And she knew she needed to find that little lost part of herself.
She needed to reconnect.
To nurture herself.
To clear space in her overcrowded days.
To follow the things that light her up.
To let go and surrender more.
To close her eyes and turn within.
To quieten her overburdened mind.
And then within the silence…it came.
She had arrived.
She felt spacious and free.
She felt connected and whole.
The stress within her body had melted away.
Her mind was still.
She was light and carefree once again.
She had arrived home. ✨💗

Love

Alisha